I've relaxed a little

I want to leave for Rice Ranch in Arizona on December 1st or 2nd. Between now and then I have to buy a truck, pay for my trailer, set up solar, construct my office, unpack my belongings, finish moving out of my house, change my address everywhere, order a ton of things from Amazon and a bunch of stuff I can't think of right now.

Ha! Some might think I'm crazy. And they wouldn't be wrong, entirely. Being a little crazy is how I'm going to manage to make the changes I want. Actually, I think it would be really crazy to continue my life at it is, letting the same shit happen over and over again.

Thirteen years ago I bought this place thinking my family and I would live here for the rest of my life. Wow. Things change. I can't wait to be out from under the weight of this house and the fantasy that I could keep my sons and grandson protected from the hardships i saw in their future. I may have protected them from some hardships but they just created others for themselves.

i added to the problem by trying to help a homeless woman and her kids. She turned out to be a very toxic person. She caused many problems for us and the whole community. Long story. Suffice to say I almost lost this house and have been just getting by since. then.

I could keep going like this but it doesn't feel like a life anymore. And I need out from under my family. Portland is a very expensive place to live and I believe I would continue to get further and further behind the eight ball.

Here's the rub. I am blessed the have equity to use to restart my life. I know I'm blessed. There are many who are very much worse off than I.

Gotta go. Something's come up.